Nathan (theamused) wrote,

Build the shit

You know, about the only thing better than going to IKEA . . . is getting someone to go to IKEA for you.

See, it seems to me that IKEA is about building the ideal pre-fab Norwegian houses where women are prisoners in their homes, men are beaten for missing TV night, and terrorists have a safe haven to plan and launch attacks on America (and other civilized nations). Don’t trust your living rooms. You are not safe. They will not leave us alone. They will follow us and attack us with a barbarity unequaled in our history.

Yes, we are now in the early hours of this struggle between tyranny and freedom, a struggle for civilization itself. We did not ask for this. The war against IKEA is the decisive ideological struggle of the 21st century and I daresay even the calling of our generation (the damn extremists). So let’s all put aside differences (buying and building the same damn living rooms) and fight to victory.

Hmm, now if only we can get someone to build that “Billy” bookshelf for us. (Oh yeah, hope everyone had an appropriately unhappy 9/11 Day.)
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